Vote for Me, I Kick Ass

I can honestly say that you should run ... don't walk ... in fact, fly to see Air Force One. It is every bit the crowd pleaser you think it is. And believe me, there was a crowd, even at the 1:00 matinee. People have seen the trailer for this and seem particularly drawn to the idea of a President of the United States who single-handedly rescues loved ones from violent, fiery special-effects deaths, while at the same time saving the country and keeping us all safe for democracy. Wonder if his Chief of Staff wrote all that down on his day's schedule. But this "elected official as action hero" thing brings up an interesting question.

How come this movie didn't get made when George Bush was President? You think the movie going public would have trouble seeing a Bush-like President knocking out terrorists, blowing people away with weapons, flying through the air and winning in hand-to-hand combat? The notion might be bringing a little smile to your face, but you know it's true. Why is it only now believable that a President could be all that? What is this just-under-the-surface psycho-sexual need we have to elevate our image of Bill Clinton even further ... into that of an action hero?

The fact is, George Bush actually was a pilot and did fly combat and did parachute through the air and land in the ocean. Clinton couldn't even walk down some steps without sustaining a disabling injury that had him crippled for months. But there's dashing Harrison Ford, with his coincidental strong, independent First Lady, and his coincidental only, teenaged, intelligent daughter. Hell, even Teddy Roosevelt has been given the action-hero treatment on TNT. I feel sorry for Al Gore should any terrorist incident come up during his presidency. We'll expect him to strap on the latest high-tech special forces weaponry and single-handedly send them all to meet their maker.

But sometimes I forget that hey, it's just good-time, feel-good entertainment. And a great ride it is. We're treated to one daring rescue attempt that will remind you of Airport '76, and probably the best "jumbo jet crashing into the ocean" footage you'll ever see. And everyone turns in a grade A performance. From Ford's continuing ability to make even the toughest hero seem scared out of his mind, to Gary Oldman's "just wait til you see me as Dr. Smith" ice cold villainy, to Glenn Close as a Vice President enduring a real trial by fire. I wonder if her campaign slogan was, "Are you voters ignoring me? Because I will not be ignored, voters!!" Lots of fundraising rabbit-boilings, that kind of thing.

Sure there are parts that are a little predictable. What's not to predict about an action movie? "Hey, I'll bet that thing there goes BOOM." And, as usual, you need to completely put aside anything you know about physics, aerodynamics, the human body, and other such nuisances in order to really buy into what's happening. But you care about the characters and it keeps your heart pumping, so you get what you came for.

Plus, with Air Force One coming out after Independence Day, I've finally decided that I simply cannot vote for a man for President unless he can leap into any plane, at any time, and suddenly fly it expertly in combat. I just wouldn't feel safe.

mike@smug.com

in the junk drawer:

July 1997
June 1997
May 1997
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March 1997
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January 1997